New friendship starts with menopause connection

During menopause, lifestyle changes can make a real difference: prioritizing sleep, cutting back on caffeine and sugar, exercising to combat stress and brain fog, and eating a diet rich in fiber. Women need support, from doctors, families and each other. ISTOCK

Credit: Getty Images

Credit: Getty Images

During menopause, lifestyle changes can make a real difference: prioritizing sleep, cutting back on caffeine and sugar, exercising to combat stress and brain fog, and eating a diet rich in fiber. Women need support, from doctors, families and each other. ISTOCK

On a random Friday last year, I got an unexpected email. It was from Pam Chandler, the Gem City Family columnist. (Her columns appear on Sundays in the Dayton Daily News.)

“I really appreciate the way you’ve helped open up the conversation around menopause and women’s health,” she wrote.

She noted that my articles were helpful and informative. I was at the end of a very long, rough week and her e-mail made my day.

When my editor reached out earlier this year, wanting to create an ongoing menopause series, Pam was one of the first people who came to mind as I brainstormed potential women to interview. She has been open about her journey and I have followed her story closely as a newfound friend.

Pam and her husband, Walter, have been navigating an uncertain 2026 and their 9-year-old daughter, Jasmine, has always been at the forefront of their minds.

Pamela Chandler, Gem City Family

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Pam’s menopause symptoms began gradually a few years ago when she was 42, and three months ago she had a partial hysterectomy. Since the surgery, she has experienced worsening symptoms. The intensity of the mood changes and joint pain has been unexpected, and Pam is currently managing her symptoms with antidepressants, pelvic floor therapy and targeted workouts to help manage joint pain and weight gain.

“Brain fog has been especially challenging as a writer,” she said. “I find myself triple-checking everything I write and getting stuck on thoughts in ways I never did before. My family has been incredibly supportive, but the mood swings, insomnia, and joint pain have made it hard to be the wife and mother I want to be.”

During her surgery, Pam’s doctors discovered uterine cancer, and she will be having a second surgery this year for a complete hysterectomy. The cancer diagnosis means that HRT is reserved as a last resort because her cancer is hormone driven.

“It truly feels like I aged a decade overnight,” she said. “I still have my ovaries and already feel this way, which makes me very anxious about my upcoming surgery when they are removed. This experience has been far more difficult than I ever imagined.”

Lifestyle changes during menopause can include a balanced diet, regular exercise or relaxation techniques, while some women turn to yoga, hypnosis, acupuncture or pelvic floor exercises to manage symptoms. ISTOCK PHOTO

Credit: Getty Images

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Credit: Getty Images

Pam’s path has clearly defined that sleep is the cornerstone of her ability to function, and the night sweats and insomnia have been very disruptive.

“When I don’t sleep, everything falls apart. I can’t think clearly, I skip workouts, I eat poorly, and the brain fog worsens. Sleep is critical for me and losing it has been truly life-altering.”

Pam has overcome many obstacles, including dismissive doctors. She has felt much more genuinely heard and supported after she switched to a female OB/GYN and PCP. Her journey will continue in 2026 and always by her side, her husband is actively researching how to better support her.

During menopause, lifestyle changes can make a real difference: prioritizing sleep, cutting back on caffeine and sugar, exercising to combat stress and brain fog, and eating a diet rich in fiber. Women need support, from doctors, families and each other. ISTOCK

Credit: Getty Images

icon to expand image

Credit: Getty Images

“I’m more in tune with my body than I’ve ever been,” she said. “I’m making genuinely healthy choices because I have to. There’s no ‘I’ll deal with this later’ mindset anymore, everything feels urgent, intentional, and necessary.”

Above all, Pam encourages women to advocate for themselves.

“Read as much as you can,” she said. “Educate yourself and understand that you are not alone. Learn what’s happening in your body. One of the most helpful resources for me has been How to Menopause, by Tamsen Fadal.”

Learn more about Pam’s health experience and other life events, check out her column at DaytonDailyNews.com.


MENOPAUSE CONTENT

This series is part of a broader effort to focus on women’s health. Sharing diverse, personal journeys is essential for a deeper understanding of a woman’s well-being. Want to share your experience or have an idea we should cover? Contact this writer at writeawayk@gmail.com.

Marie Kriedman

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